What is there to do on days like today...write. My emotions have been all over the place for the last few days. Today anxiety is winning. I've cried and while I am not sleeping nor laying down, I cannot force myself to get off my bed. I've consciously been on my Wellness Journey for a while. I have good days and bad days, that's just life. Today is one of the worse I've had in a while. Crazy part is I feel bad for feeling so consumed with what I'm dealing with. In addition to my anxiety about the situation, I say to myself someone has died today. Someone was diagnosed with a terminal illness this week. Sis get your life. But honestly I'm stuck. Writing allows me to further process my emotions. And it is my sincere hope that by the time I'm finished writing I will be ready to move forward with my day.
I keep telling myself God is on my side, God is on my side, God is on my side. That there is more than enough. As I continue to write it is clear to me that the next thing I need to do is give Him some intentional time today! I was attending "bedside Baptist" today and the Pastor said, "you want to know what's crazy, I can't imagine going through the things I've been through and not knowing God." Maaannnnnnnnn that shook me!!!!! I will not be defeated. I will do what I need to do to press on. Whether that is cry, write, sleep, pray, worship, smudge, some of the above or all of the above. Be encouraged. Love you!